So today was weird. It was one of those days thats long and tiring and you kind of go a little crazy. Little things were just bothering me and I was over everything.

Through a weird course of events I got thinking about coming out. 

Now up to this point I had bever really wanted to come out. I was fine as having stuff with guys be my special thing. Just doing it on the side now and then. I was fine.

Today I don’t know what happened. I think it was a mix of the fact that I was horny (shocker) and sleep deprived. I spent a couple hours contimplating it. 

I’m not going to deny that it sounds amazing. To be able to see a hot guy and openly say it to my friends. To possibly mess around with some hot people without worry. I would really just love to not have to censor myself.

So why not? Well theres a couple things.

1) The logistics of it. It sounds terrible but I’m having an anxiety attack just thinking about telling everyone. Like, not to toot my own horn but I know a lot of people. I just don’t want to talk about it and answer questions about it. I don’t know. It sounds tiring.

2) I feel like I’ve been telling people I’m not gay for so long that I would feel defeated caving a bit and admitting that I’m bisexual. I feel like some people would try to give me an I told you so moment. Imagine what my exes would think.

3) I don’t want to deal with people who say bisexual men are just gay and don’t want to admit it. I get it, but I know what pushing my buttons. 

I am so not this person. I’m not the person who second guesses on these things. This is literally the only thing that I’m not 100% honest about. And I’ve never felt bad about that. Until now.

Anyone have the solution?